Written by Renata Haggerty / June 19, 2017
The hardest part of our debt-free, mortgage-free, stuff-free, grain-free, dairy-free (sometimes… I cave when it comes to ice cream) simple journey is the harsh opinions of others. And by others I mean, those closest to us who should be the most supportive.
You would have thought that I told them that we are moving to Australia to live in the jungles with native people and never come back to the States. They were very distraught.
Don’t the children need calcium? You can’t possibly be feeding them enough vegetables to compensate for their not drinking milk. How will they get their calcium?
What’s wrong with grains? You need your fiber. Have you told the pediatrician that you’re not giving the kids grains? Does he support that?
What’s wrong with having a mortgage?
What’s wrong with … ?
The questions are endless and unkind and disrespectful.
Respect us enough to know that we are prayerfully making good choices for our family. If we are in the wrong, we are also humble enough to admit it. If we are not, call us out on it.
The comments and questions may come from a place of concern, but if you have questions about our lifestyle, our eating habits, our reasons for living debt-free and being minimalists… ask us questions… kindly…
My husband and I are more than happy to share what we have experienced and what we are currently journeying through. That’s why we are writing about it. We have nothing to hide. We write for our children in the hopes that they will understand why we made the choices we did. So that they could better understand the hand of God on our family. How He has been so gracious and kind to us and how He has brought us through every joyful and difficult season in our lives.
The questions and comments may also come from a place of curiosity, uncertainty being that we are doing things out of the cultural and societal norm.
We are saying no to debt, no to mortgages, no to stuff, no to grains and dairy (for now).
Here are some ways you can ask others who are living in a way that ignites your curiosity or causes you concern:
- I see that you are _____ (living debt free, not eating the SAD- Standard American Diet), why is that?
- Can you share about your experiences being ____ (a minimalist, dairy free)?
- Can you help me to better understand why you have chosen to _____ for your family?
- What research have you done to support your lifestyle changes?
- I can see that you are making some changes to your _____ (lifestyle, diet), what are your reasons for that?
- How have making these changes helped you?
- How can I support you in this new way of living?
- Can you direct me to some resources to help me better understand your choices?
When my husband and I are met with unkindness towards our prayerful life decisions, our precious children are watching and listening. I never want them to doubt our God-given choices based on unkind words they hear towards their mother and father from others.
Please, be kind and respectful. No one is perfect, except Christ. We all need support and kindness during transitions in life. Questions are good, ask them kindly and from a place of love.
Be KIND to one another in brotherly love. ~Romans 12:10
Be blessed. Be simple.